Oh, No! Did you break up with your queen or king? Relax, it’s not the end of the world. So you met each other and stole each other’s hearts. You went on countless dates and finally shared that first Holy kiss. You promised each other a fictitious heaven and Sealed the deal. Then the worst abruptly happened: you broke up.
Either you were dumped or you are the one who dumped someone for whatever reason. You cried a river, your heart was broken and you felt worthless. Your emotional world was shattered and your self esteem was crippled by the break up.
Okay… let’s take a break! You are probably blaming your ex for the breakup and chances are you’re right or wrong. Some people find it hard to move on from a breakup and this may lead them to even dismiss the thought of getting married one day.
Understandably, you have every right to be angry – after all, your heart is broken. There were emotions involved in that relationship and emotions are sensitive and gullible creatures. However, you will have to train your emotions by optimising your mind to learn from negative experiences such as a break up.
Here are four facts you must learn from a breakup:
1. You are not a failure
Whether you got dumped or you dumped someone, taking responsibility for your actions is a must. But be fair to yourself and avoid crucifying yourself for what happened.
Swimming in self pity will affect your self image and invite negative thoughts about yourself. Regardless of what happened in your previous relationship, you’re not a failure. The relationship failed but you aren’t a failure.
2. There’s room to try again
If you start believing that you’re a failure because of what happened in your previous relationship, you will soon believe that you’re not worthy to love and be loved.
This is a terrible fallacy. Look, there are over 20 billion people on the planet and not all of them are married. Yes, there’s room for you to try again and find true love in the arms of a genuine person.
So don’t write yourself off. It’s not the end of the world. Polish yourself up and grab your groove back – your new Romeo or Juliet is only a gaze away.
It’s impossible to move on when your past is still enslaving you. Here is the biggest secret: moving on or being enslaved by the past is entirely a personal choice.
It’s good to take the blame, at least you’re owning up to your mistakes, but there’s a time to move on. Moving on means making peace with the past. Making peace means forgiving yourself and your ex.
If you still click your tongue every time you see your ex, you haven’t forgiven them or even yourself – although you might think you have. You are still angry and bitter – if you enter another relationship with this emotional burden it will end in tears.
By the way, your ex has moved on from what happened between the two of you – so what are you waiting for?
4. It’s not a crime to be single
Some people feel embarrassed to be single. More so if they’ve been in lovey Dovey relationships that seemed to be leading to the marital isle. Some even lie about the break up. There’s no need.
It’s an emotional struggle that must be dealt with by rewiring the mind. It’s not a crime to be single. To some extent it’s a blessing depending on how you see and use it. You might be surprised to realise that your previous relationship has done you more harm than good.
Maybe due to this previous relationship, you don’t know Who you are anymore, you are now more confused about what you want to achieve, you have abandoned your spiritual goals and have distanced yourself from your family.
Use this time while you’re single to recover yourself and restore your sense of purpose. Don’t forget to engrave in your heart the lessons your previous relationship brought in your life. Let’s fall in love again!